So I guess, there are some good guys out there...

One time when I was a kid my friend Chelsea and I were hanging out playing Barbies or watching Power Rangers (STILL coincidentally two of my favorite past-times)  and she was sitting just a little close to my rocking chair or my tv stand. Anyway, she leaned back and absolute destroyed her head off some sort of wooden object. It looked incredibly painful and she had tears in her eyes.

So naturally I responded by laughing until I could no longer bring oxygen into my lungs and my eyes too were filled with tears.

At the ripe old age of seven I realized that I could be just a little bit insensitive to other peoples thoughts, feelings, and physical pain. (So as you can see I have always been like this...but men and booze have this uncanny ability to inflate my aggression and insensitivity)


The point of the story is that yes gentleman sometimes I over-generalize and stereo-type you as sex crazed idiots when in all reality that's only about 95% of you. So here is to you 5%. The good guys. The ones who have no idea what to wear when you meet our friends, the ones who hold my hair back when I'm barfing into a toilet, those of you who are so prepared for a date you have a list of topics to discuss to prevent awkward silences.

To be fair yesterday I was chased by a vicious animal, had my eyebrows stolen from me by an Asian women, and I got lost for an hour and a half trying to find my way home from the mall. I may not have been in the BEST mood for blogging.

You are the far and few and you are not given enough praise for it. Probably because we're all to busy bitching about the super douchers in this world. So get ready, because I don't do this very often...

Ugh, I GUESS you're awesome...

Here is why I think you're just the bestest!

You're protective
There's just something about it when you get all sweet and protective when other guys are mean to us. It literally melts my heart. (Wait, I have one?).

Here's a cute little example of adorable MACHISMO:

I googled manly and this is what they gave me...

My first boyfriend and I were driving somewhere and I was griping about how he was ALWAYS over the speed limit (backseat driver is one of my many ADORABLE qualities). When he looked at me quite seriously and said, "You think I would EVER let something bad happen to you when you are in the car with me!" Well, it's safe to say that shut me up. It never occurred to me that men even thought about bad things happening (never mind to me)...and here was a guy who was basically telling me he never wanted a anything horrible to ever happen to me! That was 5 years ago and it stuck with me. There's also just something about it when we can lean our heads on your shoulder and you wrap your arm around our waist that makes us feel as though we are incredibly safe. Then you do something boneheaded like fart and ruin the moment but oh well, those 3 minutes were very touching.

You may find it hard to believe that a majority of my friends are actually guys....
Guy friends are so handy. Especially when at the bar and someone you are not interested in is trying to talk to you. I just pull one of them close and stare lovingly into their eyes refering to them as my boyfriend. The dude gets the hint and my friend plays right along to it. Saving me from the pain and anguish of boring bar chatter.

Notice how my gentleman 'hold me down'.

There's core group of guy friends that I generally care about quite a lot. Like if something incredibly awful happened to them I would be very concerned. I even make them dinner without asking for anything in return. Because I don't have too. They do things like help my mom and I move out of our condo on a hot August morning and give the best hugs. They pick me up and spin me around, make awkward sexual noises (I have unique friends) all while I laugh adoringly. They make me smile and are ALWAYS down to drink beers with me and when some girl one of them likes enters our little circle..I go Momma Bear on them bitches. Her every move is judged. Why? Because those are the good guys and they deserve someone who appreciates their greatness.


Your Honesty
Girls have this strange belief that not fully telling their friends the truth or sugarcoating things is going to help you in life. For those of us who aren't incredibly perceptive this does not work. Girls are really dim sometimes. I love that you boys tell me exactly how it is whether it's a crappy outfit choice, my poor taste in men, or a bad meal. You always start with, "I really hope this doesn't offend you" too which is super cute because it is really hard to offend a heartless person.

OMG, HE CALLED ME PRETTY!!!!!!!

You call us pretty
Sure, We've been called pretty before. By our parents and girlfriends. But they HAVE to say that. Your parents created you and friends wouldn't be very good friends if they didn't say nice things to you every once in a while.

The other day my best friend said to me, "You're like...Blake Lively pretty" and I looked at her while I was putting my mascara on as if she had just pulled out a giant bag of cocaine.

But when a boy calls you gorgeous, pretty, sexy...*pick any adjective that refers to us as being genuinely attractive...it's as though the world comes to a screaching halt and you forget to breathe for a minute. Every. Single. Time.


Well there it is. There are some incredibly great things about you good guys. I am sorry you all get over shadowed by the uncanny amount of losers in our life. Maybe one day the girls will figure it out and actually date someone like you people who deserve us. One of you lovely 5% who do great things like pay for dinner and make handmade birthday cards.

Keep being awesome. Remember the girls never marry the bad boys. In the end you win...(well if we haven't been too irreversably damaged by then).

Lots of Cold Heart Love,

Teen