The Toast

So my mom got married yesterday evening, I know some of you take pride in the fact that I normally am a heartless bitch making fun of the inner workings of my crappy relationships or hating on men. Deep down, I may even be serious!


Since I was the maid of honor at my mother's wedding I had to dig down deep in my tiny grinch heart to come up with the proper words to describe her and her new husbands love for one another. (Happy people, gagging noises ensue)



The Toast:
When I was growing up my mom was the person who nagged at you repeatedly to put on an ironed shirt and pair of jeans before leaving the house. Once I was grown up she reminded me not to drink too many beers out at night with my friends. In Rick and I’s case both these things still happen.
Since Wendy brought me into this world I have no choice but to listen to her. However, Rick does not. But that's the kind of guy Rick is, he figured something out in two years what it took me 17 years to figure out. That my mother is always right and without her in our lives we would be drunk and wrinkly.


I am so lucky to have a mother that is not only my caretaker but my best friend. She taught me that patience, kindness, and responsibility are some of the most important virtues a person can possess. This is why I am not surprised that she chose to marry a man that possess’ all of these qualities. Any man that lets three 21 year old girls invade his home, take his SUV to Orlando, tries all of my culinary creations, and makes the bed every morning is not someone you pass up.


What I’m trying to say is all we really want is someone who accepts us for our obsessive cleaning habits or preference for over-cooked meat. Someone who loves us no matter what. Someone who will kiss our seven heads at night telling us everything will be okay. I am so happy that my mom and Rick have found that in each other.
I wish you a lifetime of happiness, cheers!




Okay, so maybe I'm not heartless after all. But at least I'm still a bitch.


A Wedding Dose of Teen