Sassy, Mr. Dean, and a friendly threat from Lady Maybelline

Well Guys, I've been blogging for a whole baby's worth of months right now. (9 for those of you who don't know how long it takes to gestate life in your uterus oven)

It's been quite the metaphorical roller coaster. This blog started out really crappy because I was just writing about boring things like eating pizza, not telling everyone my mortifyingly embarrassing stories  about farting in front of boys, being angry about a breakups (See all my November posts..especially this one), or sharing whacky text messages I receive from the people I refer to as my friends.

I never thought my own mother would ask me, " Are you going to put me in your blog?" or for that matter call me while bored at work to get my blog address.

Well anyways I owe a lot of that inspiration to The Sassy Curmudgeon. I don't remember how I found her blog but my god the woman's fucking awesome.

She makes marriage, turning 30, and wearing sunglasses in bed for a migraine seriously, COOL. Every day I look forward to a witty blog post from this sassy betch.

Until this one day...she broke my heart into little tiny pieces (slight exaggeration) with a blog about a contest with Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches..

My reaction was sadness and disappointment. Sassy sold out. For a contest with crappy sandwiches. I couldn't not speak.. so I wrote this comment..

Teen said...

Okay Una, I've been reading you for almost a year now. You seem like someone who generally marches to their own drum with an occasional weak moment. I feel like this post is...well just that. I've eaten Jimmy Dean sandwiches, I've scanned their products for years as a cashier and my conclusion: the eggs taste like water, the cheese like plastic, the meat is overly salty, and the bread/whatever is containing the food turns hard and inedible before you can take a bite in the mere seconds it sits in the microwave. I get it, blogher, jimmy dean = promotional material, free food, more blog activity, and potentially even a profit. But what our society really needs to be doing is learning to shop on the outsides of the grocery store (staying away from processed foods), learn to cook, plan, and prepare their meals at home and limit their consumption of quick service restaurants and large portions so common in many restaurants today. I understand people are busy and time is something we as a nation have so little of.I'm just as guilty as the next person. Don't get me wrong I think you are great as a writer and find you incredibly hilarious, honest, and down to earth. But the sandwich I don't think was all that great. Especially if you compare it to what you could make in a frying pan at home with Jeff cheering you on. Sorry for being a downer everyone, it's just the curmudgeon in me! AND GUESS WHAT Sassy emailed me! My jaw dropped when I checked my email! She titled the email "selling out for sausage" and told me she hoped didn't lose me as a reader but really needed the cash! I was touched (not in the creepy way!)

Then I checked back on the blog post comments...

Anonymous said...

What "Teen" said. I'm disappointed in you, Una. Overly processed and marketed commercialized food is not the answer. I expected a little more integrity from you. Oh my god SOMEONE agreed with me! Excitement..then I read this...

MAYBELLINE  said...

I resolve to hunt "Teen" down and force feed her a Jimmy Dean Delights. Oh yes, we will laugh afterward and become life long friends. Until then, "Teen", sleep with one healthy eye open.

Your life isn't complete until a woman who shares a name with a cosmetic brand mildly threatens you with a breakfast sandwich via blog comment.

<3 An insane dose of teen featuring...crazy lady maybelline!