Embarassing things I say or do...

1.) Just the other night I was out to dinner with family and friends for my dad's birthday. We got onto the topic of our old house and how my brother's longtime roommate James ended up living there. I blurted out, "Oh you mean back when you were sleeping in my bed!" Which in turn made it sound like I had been sharing a room and bed with James...which was entirely not true, though he was sleeping in my bed, I was in another bed in another place far far away from James' sleeping body. Anyways, randomly proclaiming things like this happens to me all the time.

2.) Need I elaborate on the two item condom?

3.) Seating a party of 5 upstairs at the restaurant in a mini-dress and falling up the stairs while they are behind me. "ASSkk me anything about the menu, I'd be happy to help folks."

3.) Reading through one of my really friends emails with his girlfriend in which proclaimed he was having a party, getting seriously upset that I wasn't invited to the party, and then him telling me, "It's a pants party".  I guess I really didn't want to go to that party...

4.) During game night at my ex-boyfriends I loudly proclaimed to him "FEWT is not a word!" (I had letters to spell foot). Obviously I am horrible at word scramble.

5.) When my roommate asks, " What did you make for lunch today" and I respond, " McDonald's, don't judge me, I had a bad day okay!!!"

6.) When I complement the male cashiers cool watch and don't realize that it sounds like I'm hitting on him.  I just liked his freaking watch. I had no interest in him sexually, it just came out like I was a creepy stalker.

7.) Getting overly competitive during Jeopardy, so loud that the neighbors hear and are concerned for someones well being.

8.) Trying to program the phone to auto dial 911 and actually calling...911

9.)  Missing a complete step and nearly face planting in front of my entire class last semester going to get my homework. Thankfully one guy was concerned for my well being and ran to me to ask if I was okay.  Physically yes...mentally scarred for the rest of my life...yes to that too.

10.) Not tying my clown pants tight enough during a concert my 3rd grade class was performing for the big kids of the school. Losing my pants mid show and having to hold them up while I scampered off with the other clowns offstage. What is even worse about this story is the fact I was dressed up as a clown, lost my pants, and was humiliated in front of grades 4-5 in my elementary school.

A red in the face dose of Teen