Stupid things I've done LATELY

Notice this is titled lately. I know there are way more entirely dumb things I've done in all 20 clumsy, disaster ridden, funky years of my life.

1.) Mistake the shower curtain for being similar to clothing garments. 
Putting it in the washing machine (Hey, it felt like cotton!) and then...putting it in the dryer.. Needless to say what was formarly a curtain is now a small square. I hung it up anyways.


2.) Purchased a quiche from a store
Most people are like, " Huh How is that a mistake?" well I make my own quiche and I was just feeling lazy and wanted something warm and hearty for breakfast for the week.  One bite into this quiche I realize it doesn't compare to my cheesy, eggy (spellcheck tells me this isn't a word, I beg to disagree), vegetable filled pie encrusted heaven.

3.) Having some really crazy dreams ( Now I'm not sure if this is in my control, but I think they deserve to be mentioned)
In a week long span I managed to have two celebrity dreams. Now normally I would have been hoping for Shia LaBeouf or Chase Crawford but nooo. I got ADAM SANDLER and Zach from Saved by the Bell. It's really stupid for me not to dream about the appropriate men. Anyways Adam Sandler was boring and just wanted to cuddle while Mark Paul Gosslin might have been my step brother at a weird farm-orphanage I was stuck at. SWEET DREAMS.

4.) Ordered a tomato, spinach, mozzarella pizza when I really wanted a BBQ chicken with caramelized onions. STUPID. New life rule: One should not be healthy when eating pizza as the people next to you will taunt you with their aromatic greasy, meaty pizza.



5.) Parked 3 blocks away from the Civic Center when it's down pouring and freezing. Enough said.


6.) Been convinced I was getting free airline tickets and signed up to receive free trials of makeup and body care products. Now the bastards are trying to charge me $80 bucks a month. This is probably my most epic of dumb decisions. I really wanted some free airline tickets! Not an expensive scam...


7.) Turned into one of those crazy ex-girlfriends.
Listen, I'm not proud but I am here to teach. If by my insanely idiotic behavior a person can  learn not to put their shower curtain in the dryer or order the proper pizza when extremely ravenous I consider this blog a success.
Anyways, I started doing all those things I really don't give two shits about like being obsessed over other girls talking to him or being ultra clingy. LISTEN DO NOT DO THIS. First of all because its annoying ( I was literally annoying the shit out of myself) and two this is not going to magically win your ex back. I am not a clingy person. In fact I am the opposite of clingy. I don't care if you do not want to see a crappy chick flick with me, you do not need to spend every waking hour of your day with me either, and I do not need you to wait outside the bathroom for me. It's just unnecessary.  But someone breaks up with you and you just go a little nutzo. ( Granted I did the breaking up so I put myself in this situation, all my fault I know) I inflict my own pain. Another stupid decision I've made. But gosh it's not rocket science to be a normal human being and civil during a breakup. Also it is probably not a good idea to continue talking to this person post breakup. Yes it's hard, yes you love them, yes you do not know any different. But you just end up hurting each other. Both of you basically just want to beat the crap out of one another for not making the relationship work the way you both thought it magically would and you continue to punish one another for no reason other than you just can't get over the idea of failing at something that was once so amazing. Then one of you asks if you slept with an oompa loompa on Halloween and you counter by hacking their email. Listen again, NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF HERE. Well you know you're crazy but you just couldn't stop. This next piece of information is vital. Apologize. Leave them alone and do some yoga or kick boxing. Find a new hobby and go to town. The best thing is to continue living your life as normally as possible. Acting out or doing stupid things isn't going to make anything better. Soon enough it won't hurt so bad and after some time things will start to look up. If not well there's always wine and your girlfriends.

Yours Truly,
A giant dose of Teen