Text of the Day

Heterosexual male, 21, lover of fights, hockey, beer, and boobs.

"I want a tanning package to glow"

Text of the Night/Wee Morning

207: You know. White russians taste nothing like ice cream when you're not already drunk.
6:08am

Life Lesson: Tom Biskup Style

 

Meet Tom! At one point in time he had a little teensy weensy problem with taking things that were not his ( case in point we stole this from a local restaurant in our home town). But he has since reformed his ways and become an excellent community citizen! 

However, I feel this sign really describes an excellent mantra for life:

Plan for the future but don't take it entirely two seriously..you never know when you're going to need that second case of beer. Celebration or sorrows, it will be your friend.

A Small Dose of Teen

Pangea (wtf is that!). "Lotion", and How do you know he's french?

The holidays tend to make everyone a little crazy. Even dare I say...a little ahem...blonde.

Oh mom, don't you just see the french in his face?

Case in point 3 examples from two relatives and my newly adopted cousin who loves/appreciates all things awesome (wine, blogs, cheese, osso bucco, teaching, and unecessary coffee breaks..Did I say wine?)

Scenario #1
 Momma Wendel and I doing a little grocery shopping at Publix

Me: "Mom! Look at the pup pup on the magazine cover! He's a french bulldog."
Wendel: "How do you know he's french?"

............
Me: "Are you serious....?"

Scenario #2
I have been having a hard time with the every one's lack of World History knowledge about this particular world/continent FACTOID.

Me: "So in one of my classes I came up with this great world encompassing name for a resort as an assignment in class...blahhhh blahhh blahh and nooooo one even knew what it was...I was sooo disappointed and shocked at everyone's lack of knowledge...How do people not know! (More ranting and raving...about people who have no clue about things sometims..." blahhh blahh blahhhhh

Newly adopted cousin: (Clueless look on face)
Cousin who doesn't read labels on bath product bottles: "Teenie, I don't think she knows either..."
Me: Are you kidding me expression " WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY KNOW WHAT PANGAEA IS!!!"

Pangaea for those of you who are awestruck and helpless as well is the name of all of the continents when they were together (well in theory scientists believe that before the movement of the tectonic plates all of the continents today were fit in together like a little warm, snuggly puzzle.)

Sidenote* Spell check told me I was spelling Pangaea wrong. I was spelling it "Pangea". I'm an idiot too.

Scenario #3
For Christmas I purchased  aromatherapy shampoo, conditioner, and body lotion for my cousin.
She was pretty excited and immediately put some on her legs!
Later that evening I caught her "re-administering" one of the products..only the product she was putting on her legs was not body lotion.

-

Actual gifts picture here!

It was conditioner.


Oh sweet baby Jesus, please help us all.


A hefty dose of serious brain farts
From the family members of Teen :0)

Starwars, Darth Lil, and Christmas wishes.

 Auntie or as I now call her...Darth Lil.

Meet Ant Lil. Sargent Lil. Darth Auntie/Lil...my godmother. 

As you can see last Christmas we had a little too much fun with little Dylan's excessive amounts of Christmas gifts. Darth Lil was taken over by the dark side and the force was clearly not with me. (I only hope your holidays can include light saber battles with your relatives as well!)

Also, exercise is important..especially with light sabers.

Merry Christmas Eve!

May a dose of the force be with you<3

Text of the Night

207: We may or may not have "found" some Christmas lights on the way bak from the old prot.

4:50am (I chose to leave the mistakes to increase the hilarity of the situation.)

Teenie's Favorite 90's songs

The fact that I mortified my mother in my last post means that I have to admit to a few embarrassing things about myself in this blog. You know to be fair and all..(even though I do feel like I consistently embarrass /admit enough things about myself on this blog.)


So I thought I would paint a verbal image for you all of me in the 90's..

Imagine a seven year old toothless girl (I had a bad habit of ripping my teeth out for money from the tooth fairy)
dancing like a lunatic in her  rainbow wall papered bedroom with her big black magnavox boom box (borrowed from dad) wearing an over sized mens large sweatshirt, slip on velvet shoes, and either a new kids on the block nightie (stolen from my brother) or a one piece bathing suit (depending on the time of year)
singing at the top of her lungs to her American girl doll Samantha, babysitters club doll Christie, a few select stuffed animals, and a baby cabbage patch doll with a red mow hawk named Cathy.

The musical selection from 7-10 years old sounded a lil' somethin' like this:

Barbie Girl- Aqua
MmBop- Hanson
It's all coming back to me now- Celine Dion (7 minutes and 36 seconds of pure sadness..and me and my best friend Molly singing at the top of our lungs) 
Unbreak my Heart-Toni Braxton

The ENTIRE Madonna You Can Dance Album special highlights include "Everybody" and "Into the Groove"

Lyric Snipet from Madonna: 

Live out your fantasy here with me
Just let the music set you free
Touch my body, and move in time
Now I know you're mine

Someone should have explained to me that Madonna was a bit of a whore in the the 80's and early 90's..maybe I wouldn't have worshipped her music so much at age 7.


The Usual Tween Sensations:

Spice Girls  (My cousins, myself, and some neighbors once put on a performance out of a neighbor's garage of a poorly choreographed dance to one of their songs..the surprise..I was Posh spice.

Backstreet Boys (Nick Carter..I used to dream about our wedding day)
N'Sync  (Justin Timberlake's frosted hair will NEVER be forgotten)
98 Degrees (The Hardest Thing..on repeat OVER&OVER.)
Christina Aguilera (Genie In a Bottle/Come On Over/What a Girl Wants)
Britney Spears- (Baby One More Time/You Drive Me Crazy/Sometimes I Run)

Some Random Tracks:
What If God Was One of Us-Joan Osborne
Truly Madly Deeply- Savage Garden

You know that song that proclaims they want to bathe with you in the sea..anyone whoever went to the skating rink in elementary school remembers couple skating to this song.

That one hit wonder by Mambo #5
All Star- Smash Mouth
The Boy is Mine- Brandy/Monica
Candy- Mandy Moore
No Scrubs/Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls- TLC



Probably my favorite BSB music video of all time. Feel free to make fun of me.

A Tween Dose of Teen <3

Wendy takes a tumble...

Tonight my mother helped to explain why I am a walking disaster.

Upon our departure from a restaurant this evening she so graciously "missed" (forgot it existed) the curb and she plummeted diagonally off of it only to break her fall with the SUV.

Immediately I ( a concerned and caring daughter) errupted into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
 Sidenote* It may or may not be important for you to know that as this happened she screamed my name... as if I had pushed her..or her misfortunate misjudgement of pavement was somehow my fault.

Being the multi-tasker that I am through my giggle fest I was able to confirm she was okay and assist her (bruised ego/injured ankle) into the car.

All of this happened very quickly...and when I finally crawled into the car...I continued to laugh. Then I continued to laugh while my mother kept looking back at me saying, "It is not funny."

I begged to differ... BUT then when I told her how I helped her into the car and made sure she was okay all while reveling in my own chuckles she refused to believe I had done such things. It must have been the shock from her injury that made her forget about my heroic execution of getting her into the car!

So I continued to laugh..we continued to argue..

About 20 minutes later...
"Are you going to write about this in your blog?"
"yup."

 Happy Birthday Mom!

Am I an awful daughter for laughing at her mother on her birthday?

A relative dose of Teen

Morning Thoughts...Southern Style

For the past 2 years I have had the luxury of being able to take 2-3 weeks off every year for Christmas and been able to fly away from the snow (which actually makes me sad) and spend my holidays with my relatives from my mom's side of the family and most importantly my mom :0)! 

I googled "New England Girl" this definitely looks like me.

However as a New England girl through and through, I tend to find the actions, words, lives, any goings ons whatsoever of people down here unique, strange, and LOVE to trash talk provide constructive criticism...

1.) My number one thought every single freakin' time I come down here is "People are so damn slow". I don't know if it's the weather, the margaritas, or all the gosh darn old people, but cheese and rice can "y'all" pick up the pace. Whether I'm buying groceries, walking down the street, or talking to someone there is never a sense of urgency. It took a man 45 minutes to buy a pair of earring's yesterday. SERIOUSLY? That would take me 20 seconds.

2.) I caught the tail end of a radio advertisement that informed me, "Tis the season to be smurfy" 

Yes as in the smurfs. I guess I'm gonna have get my smurf on later today or something..

3.) This is the Christmas song I heard driving in the car this morning.

4.). There is a street known as "Kestor Dr." which makes me think of Keestors (aka BUMS)

Which in turn makes me think of this:

5.) Sign out front of a design store called Castro's, "Keep Christ in Christmas!" 

Thoughts... soon enough they are going to be telling me, "Keep CHRIST in CHRISTina!" (for those of you who only know me as Teen..my real name is Christina) Lets make note of the fact that I think Christ has been out of most people's Christmas holiday for a while. A holiday where we max out our credit cards to keep up with the Jones' and eat so much we have to unbutton our pants..Doesn't scream Jesus to me. But I get it South, I took a moment and let Christ into my heart then I found out about a bank robbery/high speed chase/shootout (which left one dead, another in critical condition) that happened a half a mile down the road from your location and really wished that they had read your sign before as well. Or maybe they were Jewish, read your sign and decided to rob a bank because they don't even celebrate CHRISTmas.

Anyways I just want to remind you all to keep some love, patience, sincerity, and kindness in whatever holiday you celebrate this season. ( Let's not forget life in general)

Love your family and friends.

Be patient with them as well (and strangers in those long lines at the store remember they are doing the same last minute shopping as you too!)

Be sincere about the love and kindness you give.

And practice random acts of kindness wherever you go. 

My friend Lagios and I were once eating some yummy food in the old port a couple of years ago and he gave his unfinished meal to a homeless man walking by. Lag is not usually a serious dude and often tested my patience, but he made up for every moment I wanted to strangle him in that one small and seriously awesome act of generosity and kindness.

6.) And watch this video too pwease.

Merry Whatever and Happy Whatchamacallit!

Your random and all over the place 

Dose of Teen <3

Text of the Day

(207): Just my luck. The non druggiest person...at the druggiest campus.
(207): Hahahaha yessir. I mean what else is there to do in nh?
(207): Take a tour on the Thomas Laighton!
(207): No idea what that even is and I feel bad you do.

(207): That's the fucking boat I work for.


Boyfriend of the year award goes too....

the WORST

Brushing your teeth..forgetting you just brushed your teeth
then drinkings a nice glass of OJ

Tripping when there isn't a soul in sight (you feel like a loser laughing alone)

Banging your elbow on any sort of hard surface/object

Starting to make mac n cheese when you realize you have no milk

Walking in on your best friend and your girlfriend doing the dirty...in your bed.

Thinking the guy you madeout with last night was a 10 when we was really a 4.

When someone finds your tattered, torn, rag-like blankey in your bed and the expression on their face tells all.

Thinking people are talking about Venice, Italy..when it's really Venice, CA.

Smacking your hand into the glass of your window in front of the bank teller.

Burning the cookies.

When the dentist asks you, " Have you been flossing regularly?"

When you make your plane but your luggage doesn't.

Passing out in public.

Running in public and not wanting to stop even though your dead tired because you think everyone in their cars are judging you.

When your boyfriend tells you, "I wouldn't be against it if you got a boob job hunny"

Waking up early.

The first Christmas you find out Santa isn't real..Christmas morning will never be the same.

Realizing that your parents are not superheroes and just as human and capable of making mistakes as you.

Dropping your bagel bite facedown on the floor..picking it up..and all the cheesey goodness remains on the floor.

Getting stuck Clark Grizwald style in a rotary.

Pumping gas during a sleeting/snowstorm mid-January with no gloves, a sweatshirt, and flip flops.

Being "that girl" at the party.

Having your friend explain what happened the morning after.

When your to-go order...isn't your to-go order.

Having to poop really bad...in public.


the WORST dose of Teen

You're own "worsts" are welcome :0)

A Delightful Boston Evening: Wienersnitzel, Beer, and Snickerdoodles.

Synopsis:
Hanging out at a German Restaurant
Slow cookin' Carolina style pulled pork
Apparating to parties
Silver bullets and photos
Lovin' pulled pork at 3am
Chattin' with Anastasia at Dunks

German restaurants not a place I frequent quite often. But when there's a deadly combination of man-children, beer, fried pickles, chili nachos , and bratwurst sandwiches you really can't pass up such a blog provoking time.

Things discussed at the table:
Sexual innuendos about a liquor store and German sausages
Berating of Lopesie's crimson crusted bed linens (don't ask, don't tell)
Donating kidney's to your husband  (purely fucking epic/ true story)
The God-like creation of Buffalo Chicken Mac N Cheese
The Incredible Eating Abilities of Nick Vennochi

Back at the homeland:
A brief power nap, trip to the liquor store, and someone mistaking my hairspray for whipped cream.. we all geared up to adventure out god knows where (this group of gents is like a combo of non-declawed kittens and bulls in a very small china closet)

Party:
Acquiring two for one beers
Being social butterflies
Favorite animated movie moments typical college party chatter ( Finding Nemo, The Brave Little Toaster, The Lion King)
No toilet paper in the bathroom (a sad realization for all girls who had to pee at the party..including me..drip dry is only okay for dishes)
Attempted fights
Harry Potter references
ex bf/gf sexual hate tension ( awkward in any other situation but this) Typical conversations include "I hate you" -smiling and exchanging of hugs " If you were a man I would punch you in the face right now" "I wish you would"

Mission: Get Home Safe and Snuggle
Cab ride with a cabbie using a GPS. Excuse me?
Berating a drunken, petite, girl who attempted to trip us on the street ( What a great idea too, how nice of you to extend your back leg in an attempt at watching me fall on my face, that's ONLY funny in big daddy you stupid biotch!)
Trying to take on a group of four dudes, two chicks with two dudes and one chick (potentially possible, but we were hungry and tired..and of course smart.)
Molesting the pulled pork, cole slaw, and bulkie roles at 3am to make everyone a delicious and inspiring late night snack
Being hand served warmed snickerdoodle cookies before bed

Wearing brown leather boots, UNH capri sweatpants, a baby seal shirt, and day old crusty makeup to dunks the next morning. SIGN OF A GOOD NIGHT.

A Bostonian Dose of Teen :0)

Morning Thoughts..again

1.) How the hell do I make a meal with potatos, sweet potatos, gruyere cheese, quark cheese, pasta, spinache, green beens, and a variety of herbs. Okay...I'm starting to get some ideas..

2.) When did Meghan Fox get married...oh this summer..cool, way to know my pop culture.


3.) I can't wait to use my "you pick 4" meat coupon at Shaws! (SO sad.)

4.) Am I really almost done Christmas shopping? Unbelievable!

5.) My bank account has a concerned look on it's face...

6.) Pizza is a perfectly healthy breakfast.

7. )The following are twitter posts from @Lord_Voldemort7...I love him.

• The US might pass a bill that bans sales of "unhealthy food" during school hours. You're right US, bake sales. That's your biggest problem.
• #thingsImiss My nose.

• Emma Watson says her "college bff" has never read a HP book or seen a movie. Bullshit. That screams "I have a shrine in a secret chamber".

 8.)   The early show sucks. TODAY SHOW RULES. but I mean who wants to change the channel when it's early and you haven't been able to find your remote for 6 months..





9.) Where the hell is my remote!


10.) Do lobster's really love Guinness Bull Feeney's? ..and really this is thought number 11 but I promised myself I would keep it to 10...Am I the only person in the universe without a twitter?




A thought inspired dose of Teen

Oh CHRISTmas!

 The holidays are a time of excitement.
 Except when you are a college student to whom December snuck up on you in the middle of the night sometime after Thanksgiving.  What I have to study for tests? I have massive presentations due? I have to make a Yankee pot roast? Slice dodines and glue clementines to plates with honey?
...Okay maybe the first two only for you guys.

Anyways, I am determined to attempt to slightly enjoy the holiday season whether it is enjoying a couple of Christmas songs along the drive to work, have a holiday dinner party with friends, or to purchase the Starbucks Christmas blend so that my apartment smells like Christmas coffee!

Here are a few things that help me and in turn may help you.

There is nothing better than the first snowstorm. When this happens I hope some of you aren't working or stuck doing housework. I hope you throw on a big comfy sweatshirt cuddle up on the couch with a crappy Christmas movie or a big fat book. Why crappy you may ask because the movie is not your main goal my friend. The book and movie are merely aids in your process of taking your first holiday snow slumber!! Enjoy it, when you wake up groggy, warm, and in a winter wonderland you will feel like Santa's best friend ready to pounce on Christmas like a baby kitten.


When someone reminds you of why you love the holidays. My mom sent me a LIVING miniature Christmas tree from L.L. Bean. It is decorated with adorable little holly berries and twinkling white lights. Not to mention it smells like the forest in my living room. AWESOME

I get to pull out my favorite winter hat and sport it EVERYWHERE. I have owned this hat since I was 14 years old..so SEVEN years. At one point in time it was scratch and sniff and smelled like strawberries. Truth be told the hat is actually a strawberry. It's a strawberry shortcake hat, the old school Ms. Shortcake, not the new super girlie, oddly human like, modernized cartoon image. This hat pays homage to an amazing character to whom I own a Halloween costume, make the dessert, and pack my mother's lunch in her metal lunchbox. Rock on old school shortcake!

Winter beverages

hot cider, hot chocolate, Starbucks holiday collection, EGG NOG ( sometime I think my dad and I are the only people in the world who love egg nog..GUYS it doesn't taste like eggs, it delicious.

Holiday movies
The Santa Clause, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Poloar Express, that weird movie where Kelsey Grammar is attack by a Santa suit....

She wants it.

Mistle toe..excellent tool for getting a little smooch action

Ugly sweaters, where the person in the ugliest holiday clothing is the most likely to get laid.

A nice warm fire or you know... just being able to afford heat in the winter...

Anyway, just enjoy the small things, it's not about the gifts, it's about enjoying the time you have with the people you care about. THE BEST GIFT POSSIBLE.
awww soo corny :0)

A cheerful dose of Teen

Text of the Day

207: I'm taking a bubble bath listening to my heartbreak mix-tape...crying.

Embarassing things I say or do...

1.) Just the other night I was out to dinner with family and friends for my dad's birthday. We got onto the topic of our old house and how my brother's longtime roommate James ended up living there. I blurted out, "Oh you mean back when you were sleeping in my bed!" Which in turn made it sound like I had been sharing a room and bed with James...which was entirely not true, though he was sleeping in my bed, I was in another bed in another place far far away from James' sleeping body. Anyways, randomly proclaiming things like this happens to me all the time.

2.) Need I elaborate on the two item condom?

3.) Seating a party of 5 upstairs at the restaurant in a mini-dress and falling up the stairs while they are behind me. "ASSkk me anything about the menu, I'd be happy to help folks."

3.) Reading through one of my really friends emails with his girlfriend in which proclaimed he was having a party, getting seriously upset that I wasn't invited to the party, and then him telling me, "It's a pants party".  I guess I really didn't want to go to that party...

4.) During game night at my ex-boyfriends I loudly proclaimed to him "FEWT is not a word!" (I had letters to spell foot). Obviously I am horrible at word scramble.

5.) When my roommate asks, " What did you make for lunch today" and I respond, " McDonald's, don't judge me, I had a bad day okay!!!"

6.) When I complement the male cashiers cool watch and don't realize that it sounds like I'm hitting on him.  I just liked his freaking watch. I had no interest in him sexually, it just came out like I was a creepy stalker.

7.) Getting overly competitive during Jeopardy, so loud that the neighbors hear and are concerned for someones well being.

8.) Trying to program the phone to auto dial 911 and actually calling...911

9.)  Missing a complete step and nearly face planting in front of my entire class last semester going to get my homework. Thankfully one guy was concerned for my well being and ran to me to ask if I was okay.  Physically yes...mentally scarred for the rest of my life...yes to that too.

10.) Not tying my clown pants tight enough during a concert my 3rd grade class was performing for the big kids of the school. Losing my pants mid show and having to hold them up while I scampered off with the other clowns offstage. What is even worse about this story is the fact I was dressed up as a clown, lost my pants, and was humiliated in front of grades 4-5 in my elementary school.

A red in the face dose of Teen

Pre-Thanksgiving Thoughts

  My dad owns a restaurant and he's owned it for all of my life. I have found that I get less and less excited about Thanksgiving every year.

Now why may you ask? Why does Thanksgiving not mean the joyous, great, fattening times that you and your family have?

First of all the restaurant is open on Thanksgiving! You guys thought Thanksgiving was about being thankful. Oh piss off, we all know it's a consumer holiday in which marks the beginning of the "real" Christmas season in which we all spend too much money and time buying gifts and not enough time with the people we truly care about. So either I had the choice to sit home while my family worked (once my brother was old enough to hold a bus bucket and eventually a tray he was working on Thanksgiving too). My mom used to work at the restaurant  on Thanksgiving but my parents are divorced and she lives in Florida so that would be really awkward now a days.

So on Thanksgiving instead I found myself at a variety of different venues here's the list

1.) The Garcia Family Thanksgiving- Hectic, overwhelming, never on time, and so NOT my Italian family Thanksgiving. I have spent Thanksgiving and Easter with this family. The thing I always found the most strange was that they served corn as a side dish. I know corn is a HUGE foundation of our diet and the first T-Gives, but christ almighty, never had I ever eaten corn during my holiday meals.

2.) The Breakers Hotel in Florida enjoying glass stuffing ( no joke). Anyways before we could make it to this world famous hotel the house down the street caught fire and my uncle was pulled over for speeding while my cousin and I were laying down in the back of the SUV floor hidden by a blanket.  I really couldn't make this shit up if I tried. The food was great but it was a buffet in an elegant ballroom and I really wanted to trade in my skirt for a pair of jeans and some heavy winter socks, curl up in butterball ( ha ha get it) and fall into a turkey coma listening to the football game.


3.) Working @ the restaurant-  I spent last T-Gives sorting out seating charts the night before and still found myself fucked over halfway through the day. I worked the entire day going on a slice of bread. I was waiting to eat with my brother at the bar (so classy) but he "got sooo hungry" he ate without me. Oh yeah and my dad showed up with his gf and her family to eat dinner. 'Nuff said.


4.) Having dinner alone with my mom..this was actually kinda cool because I didn't have to go anywhere with a strange family, we watched the Macy's Day Parade, my friend Nick brought us donuts in the morning (SO SWEET), and bopped around the house in our sweats. She watched the football game while I did homework, and we both napped on the couch.

5.) T-Gives with my brother's then fiance (now wife) without my brother- Obviously John was working and Melissa felt bad I had no where to go. So I went to "Grams". For those of you who haven't met Gram she's the most adorable, soft spoken, awesome lady you will ever meet. I think she could actually kick Betty White's ass. Anyways the thing I always notice about other people's holidays is that they are soo much more QUIET. It's deafening to me to hear so much silence. I'm used to 12 guests or more T-Gives when I was a wee child and family screaming at you if you should by chance infringe their view of the television.

Norman Rockwell, what's up?

6.) T-Gives with my boyfriend of the times family- This was after a long day of working at the restaurant. I smelled like a kitchen, my feet hurt, and I was exhausted. I was just expecting to meet everyone on the couch to watch a Christmas special and have dessert with them ( it was really late for normal Thanksgiving meals) when I called my then boyfriend and he told me they hadn't eaten yet and they were waiting for me. So I had myself a little happy cry in the car before heading into their house because I was soo excited to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner (with a normal functioning family who can actually cook). I had already eaten but I pretended I hadn't and it was seriously awesome. The 3 glasses of wine may have contributed to my warm, jolly feelings. But anyways someone should have taken a photo it was such a freaken kodak moment. Damn them.

7.) A holiday dinner with my best friend Nick, his family, and his now ex gf- This was not at the Link's home. This was at their relatives. It didn't really occur to me how weird it was that I was going to dinner with his family until we walked through the door and his relatives had to figure out which one of us was Nick's girlfriend. Maybe they thought we were a creepy Mormon threesome? But the entire family had thoroughly puzzled looks on their faces when we walked through the door and seemed a little on edge the entire time we were there, even my chocolate creme pie and flowers couldn't subside the wandering questions in their minds!

It's cool as a fictional tv show but apparently not as reality tv...

Not sure where I will end up this year, freeloading a free meal, joining in some other families T-Gives conversation, while judging their family traditions..BUT we shall see.

A Turkey dose of Teen

Adorable Friday

I still can't decide who's cuter.. the bunny or grandpa marshmallow.

Pro's and Cons of being single during the holidays

PRO: You save anywhere from $50-500 dollars. Depending how intense your relationship is, gifts for family, going out to dinner, gas, presents, wrapping paper etc.

CON: EVERYONE you know suddenly starts getting a boyfriend (even the 10 year old searching for gifts in the rite aid Christmas isle). Not to mention engagements are super popular around this time of year. GAG.

PRO: You don't have to "hide" your dissapointment or act excited when you get a shitty Christmas present when you gave ALL of the hints in the world of the things that you wanted.

CON: It's difficult to find a pal to drag along to holiday fairs, movies, Christmas shopping, someone to get drunk off spiked egg nog with because they're too busy having fun with their significant others...

PRO: No single person likes a happy couple during the holidays. So inadvertantly you're helping to make other single people have a much easier day.

CON: Those extra pounds you pack on during the holidays are a lot lonelier when you can't be "the cute chubby couple". Instead you're just fat and single.

PRO: Your family feels bad and buys you more gifts!

WORST CON EVER: Sleeping alone during the holidays. It's really cold outside and not having someone to snuggle close with, rub your cold feet up against, and watch crappy old Christmas movies on  cold, snowy, winter nights is so not "the tits". In fact its pure torture.

Try to enjoy your holidays single folks!

A single dose of Teen

Honey Ginger Garlic BBQ Chicken

One package of chicken wings and thighs
Four cloves of garlic
Four table spoons ginger
1/4 cup of honey
Bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce
Salt
Pepper
Crushed Red Pepper
Scallions

1.) Wash the chicken (dry it thoroughly)
2.) finely chop both the garlic and ginger
3.) Roughly chop the scallions
4.) Place the BBQ sauce, honey, garlic, scallions, and ginger into a large bowl
5.) Add the chicken  and coat lightly with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper and mix
6.) Place the chicken in the fridge to marinade for several hours or all night ( this just increases the flavor..2 hours will be okay as long as you keep rotating the chicken!)
7.) Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and place chicken on a greased baking pan and cook for 20-25 minutes depending on how big your wings are.

Feel free to try this recipe with chicken breasts if you want less fat..just make sure the chicken is cooked all the way through!

ENJOY!

The first fart

For those of you who think that girls do not fart or poop...or do anything besides emit pixie dust and perfume auroras

first of all don't read this, second of all..go fuck yourself. (Sorry, but C'MON!)

I'm going to tell you a story...

So I first started dating this guy after 2 years of sisterly solitude and it's great! I'm sneaking out at night, lying to my family about where I'm going, making new friends, frolicking around with this pretty cool fellow. I feel soo comfortable around him that I even get up and grab a glass of water without permission in his house! ROAR We're seriously makin' moves here. We do that whole "couples hang out" thing where there's a wing man and a wing woman, there's some awkward moments, meeting of parents ( not mine cause Italian families are crazy!) We snuggle on the couch and pretend to watch movies while we make out in his bedroom upstairs OMG, this blog just went PG-13. So one night..about two weeks into this whole mess, I'm exhausted from working a double and fading in and out of consciousness with my legs draped over him on the couch. Of course one of his buddies is over ( we can't hangout alone all the time, we have to pretend we actually care about other people first) and they're shooting the shit watching Trailer Park Boys or something. Anyways, I'm just so freaken' cozy its unbelievable...and then it happened. I farted. It wasn't very loud..but it woke me from my mild slumber. The guys went silent. "Did she just fart?" his friend asked.. "He nudges me, " Did you just fart?"... and I respond all nonchalant like I actually meant to emit gas from my ass, "uhh yeah, so what!" and go right back to sleep. Of course because I was so cool, calm, and collected they just accepted it and continued talking about beer or boobs.  I eventually admitted that it was an accident and my entire relationship fell apart and died. BOOM.

THE END.


A gassy dose of Teen

Men's Idea of Homemaking

I am making some generalizations here, so if you can't take the heat get outta my kitchen!

1.) Sexy posters of half naked ladies referring to sexual activity or consumption of alcohol

2.) setting up a bed and a mini fridge in their bedroom

3.) A customized beruit/ beer pong/ flip cup table

4.) Take out containers

5.) Good speakers for parties

6.) A poster of entourage/wedding crashers/some manly company

7.) Duck tape

8.) Frozen pizza in the fridge

9.)A bong on the living room table

10.) House Whores who sleep in one of the roommates bed's relatively more often than normal whores, they make you breakfast at 3am, help you clean your room, or bring brownies over to seem less slutty and help to make the house a little more homey!

 

I'm hungry now.. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I personally and most affectionately would like to wish a very happy and amazing birthday to

 ISAAC HANSON! YOU SEX KITTEN YOU!

Things you really shouldn't say/do in front of your new boyfriend

Ladies & Gentleman here it goes

1.  Do you have a plunger (after exiting his bathroom)
2. "Your mom and I are so alike omg!"
3. "My ex boyfriend insert anything you might say here" 
4. Change your tampon
5. Tell his guy friends you think they are sexy!
6. "Well I once saw on this lifetime movie..". "On OTH last night..." "Did you see the new Keeping up with the Kardashians?"
7. you-"I'll see you soon hun, just stopping by PP"   him- " PP?" you- "Planned Parenthood silly ;-)"
8.  Tell him any part of his body is "small".
9. Tell his friends any embarassing stories you heard from his mom.
10. you- " Hey dad!" him- "wrong message, babe" you- "About that..."

Venty McVenterson

So lately I've been trying really hard to be a good person. Now generally I'm well behaved, but like everyone I do have my moments ( shocker, I'm not perfect). Let me let you guys in on a little secret. SOME people will make this very hard. You will want to go down that really common path of destruction that makes you feel like you're achieving something by making others feel worse than you. 

Now think about what I just said, you are making other people feel bad. Does that actually make you feel good inside? Does that actually fulfill you as a person? Will this help you feel better about yourself?

I can't answer yes to any of these questions. I hope you can't either.

A serious dose of Teen

Visit Holliequotes.com

Think of me as you undo her dress.
I hope you hear my voice as you kiss her neck
And as lust is screaming for release
I hope to God you're remembering me 

You aren’t going to be her first, her last, or her only. She's loved before, she will love again, but if she loves you now what else matters? She’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if she can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can.

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Ibelieve in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. - Audrey Hepburn 

To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. - E.E. Cummings

Fun for EVERYONE

This morning I am feeling lazy. Well that's no different from any day really. I would love to share some fun link with you all. Check out this chillingly awesome hotel. Also if you feel like you would like to make a difference today (without getting off the couch of course) Go here and learn something!

An ironic Christmas song...Jessica is right..she really couldn't stay or sing for that matter.

If you haven't had enough of me yet I strongly recommend these videos in this exact order.

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxFB5RDmBIA

Later hoes
Lazy Dose of Teen

Body Bowling

Please enjoy this photo of me hanging in a bowling alley lane. I'm not to ashamed to admit someone dragged me down it too.

This one's for the boys

Now I know this blog is a little bit girlie. I sincerely apologize for my gender. So I thought I would take a day to honor the hardships men face in their life. You how girls always claim they have it "sooooo bad!" with that whole creating life thing. I'm going to discuss a few things that men have to do that really freaken suck.

1.) After a certain age when you fall off your bike, drop your ice-cream on the ground (listen that is DEVASTATING okay?!), or get hit in the face with a soccer ball it's NOT cool to cry. In fact our crazy society considers you a pansy. A few quick tears is really all that's allowed if anything. You gotta suck it up and continue to play even though the aftershock on your face is reverberating throughout your entire body.


2.) You constantly have to deal with women bitching about how much harder it is to be a girl. 
"Oh praise god HALLELUJAH to us we menstruate while multi-tasking!" 
I think you should all respond, " Try having a boner in front of your entire world history class during your 30 minute long presentation."  Now that is embarrassing.


3.) Infant girls start talking before you. This blows. Now you know why we never shut the eff up. We've been doing it longer. We've got a whole 1-2 months on you in that department and we produce more words as well. We are basically bitching at you before you can even respond to us. Don't worry as we turn into toddlers that gap closes a bit and you still make more than us in hourly wages.


4.)  Gentleman prepare. I am going to talk about your man parts.
Circumcision: If you're snipped or not..I feel for ya.

If you're snipped then we know that right around the time you were born someone cut skin off of your most sensitive region. Granted you're to young to remember but seriously, that has to be extremely painful as a young new born baby all helpless and trusting of your new parents...then they snip a piece of your weenie off! Not to mention the use of an anesthetic was not common until recently! Not to mention the bleeding and chance of infection after circumcision. I wouldn't develop talking skills until later in my life either if someone did that to me.

If you're not snipped then you have to worry about cleaning all the time. You are more prone to infection, UTI's, and tearing! This really blows. Having dad or mom teach you how to clean your special area is never a cool conversation and this just brings an extra step into the mix. No one wants to remind their son to clean their foreskin. As if you haven't been through enough there is the chance that you could tear! OUCH. (I'll let you guys decide how that could possibly happen but I mean yaaaaa know)

Okay enough about that.


5.) When you have a lady friend in your life ( if you're ever so blessed) and you're a nice decent guy you may feel obligated or pressured to buy her things. Those additional extras you have to buy for them add up. We are not cheap ( in some sense of the word). Flowers, movie tickets, dinners,  birthday gifts, Christmas gift, late night fast food stops all come out of your pocket so we can feel "loved". 




6.) After you play sports, you all shower together. That really sucks. You never know who might pee on you when you're not looking (ladies, this actually happens) or if someone is going to steal your towel or play some sort of sick prank on you especially if you are younger.


7.) You get a lot of "tough love", "be a man", and "own ups". Listen if you need a hug I'm here. Yeah a cold heart is good if you need to learn a lesson. But lots of love and kindness is WAY better in everyday life. So just be nice to the guys. Treat them like you would want to be treated. Let em cry...and eat cake. If they're an asshole to you well at least you were the better person!

8.) You're hairy. You grow hair everywhere. Yes we have to shave our legs a lot but we don't grow a jungle of hair on our faces ( most of us at least). We can cover up our cuts with a band-aid and a cute pair of jeans. If you tear a hole in your face mid-shave you have to put a little bit of toilet paper on it and pray you don't forget to take it off before you head out in public again. I'd suggest a full ski mask to cover your face or a hockey mask.. but you either look like a bank robber or an axe murderer. Pick your poison.

9.) This one I am stealing from one of the comedians we saw with Dane Cook. Delicious fruity alcoholic beverages are OFF LIMITS to you. How dare we deny the strawberry, pomegranate, slushie, orange infused, cherry drizzle, multi-colored booze ridden fishbowl from you. C'mon boys were going out for apple-tinis. Why? Because they taste like blow pops and fun dip.




10.) This one people is the big one. THE BIG ONE.

Boys, you gotta pop the FUCKING question. You have to pick out a ring for the woman of your dreams, pay lots of money for it, and then get down on one knee and ask her to spend the rest of her life with you. That is not easy. I don't blame you for taking your time to make such a life changing decision. I mean imagine..if the ring you picked out was HIDEOUS or you know..if she says no?





Peace, Love, and Hugs

A manly dose of Teen :0)

Quote me

Maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it's the only person who will ever receive all of you. After that, you learn better. But, most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you loved - a piece no future lover could ever get, no mater what. That piece holds innocence - the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error, that one kiss you’ll never forget and that night under the stars you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you thought love would be. Everything that was proven wrong.

The Two Item Condom

Just a little embarrassing story for y'all this morning,

Back in the day when going to the mall was cool and you hung out in the food court and dream machine all day with a giant posse of of girls or maybe boys depending on your gender. You bought cheap earings that would make your ears swell and a plain t shirt that said "American Eagle" or "Weathervane" on it.  ( Hey originality is rare in middle school my friends.) 

Anyways after buying some really cheap shitty stuff or maybe a new cd by 50 cent cause he was actually cool then too.You would venture into the food court with your clan of hungry followers. My two favorite places to go were obviously Sarku ( the Japanese chicken is SO TASTY) and Panda Express ( the orange chicken is to DIE FOR!) Literally it's probably not even real chicken and it will inevitably clog my arteries and kill me. 

So anyways I'm in line with three of my lovely friends sporting a fury kongol immitation hat ( or some sort of strange head piece) About 11-13 years of age ( I'm not quite sure now that I am so old and wise) I have my tray and I'm excited. Anxiously awaiting for the 15 year old pimply Asian boy to take my order cause I'm stahhhhvin.  

Well he finally gets to me when I'm mid convo with my pal Molly O and 

he asks " What would you like today" 

Surprised and excited, I yell, "I'll have the two item condom..".. 

Shock, horror and embarassment dance all over my face as I grasp for the right words, "... I mean condom..."..."condom, condom, condom!" I exclaim. 

Suddenly a perfectly literate person has developed a stutter claiming for latex sexual protection in the Panda Express line.

Molly chimes in mid giggle and horrification of my exclamation of wanting two item condoms in front of a massive line of people , " combo please" and we move on.

 Thank god that wasn't humiliating or anything, my goodness.

A little dose of embarassment for you!

But in all seriousness kids WEAR CONDOMS (Elton John is an advocate therefore I am)

-Teen

Morning Thoughts

 Putting toothpaste on my pimples is probably not a good idea, my face smells minty..but so do my sheets. ( yeah I just admitted to having pimples.)


If I don't get my oil changed soon, the check engine light may just start talking to me or you know the engine might just fall out


Why does the stupid glass company next door feel the need to shatter window panes at 8am?


A body pillow isn't enough, it's time to hire a professional snuggler to spend the night with me. Does anyone know a good one?
Taking applications now, must enjoy criminal minds and not mind snoring..also willing to spoon at request.


I could really go for some eggs benny over brioche toast with a side of crunchy home fries..


Owls are majestic.

Stupid things I've done LATELY

Notice this is titled lately. I know there are way more entirely dumb things I've done in all 20 clumsy, disaster ridden, funky years of my life.

1.) Mistake the shower curtain for being similar to clothing garments. 
Putting it in the washing machine (Hey, it felt like cotton!) and then...putting it in the dryer.. Needless to say what was formarly a curtain is now a small square. I hung it up anyways.


2.) Purchased a quiche from a store
Most people are like, " Huh How is that a mistake?" well I make my own quiche and I was just feeling lazy and wanted something warm and hearty for breakfast for the week.  One bite into this quiche I realize it doesn't compare to my cheesy, eggy (spellcheck tells me this isn't a word, I beg to disagree), vegetable filled pie encrusted heaven.

3.) Having some really crazy dreams ( Now I'm not sure if this is in my control, but I think they deserve to be mentioned)
In a week long span I managed to have two celebrity dreams. Now normally I would have been hoping for Shia LaBeouf or Chase Crawford but nooo. I got ADAM SANDLER and Zach from Saved by the Bell. It's really stupid for me not to dream about the appropriate men. Anyways Adam Sandler was boring and just wanted to cuddle while Mark Paul Gosslin might have been my step brother at a weird farm-orphanage I was stuck at. SWEET DREAMS.

4.) Ordered a tomato, spinach, mozzarella pizza when I really wanted a BBQ chicken with caramelized onions. STUPID. New life rule: One should not be healthy when eating pizza as the people next to you will taunt you with their aromatic greasy, meaty pizza.



5.) Parked 3 blocks away from the Civic Center when it's down pouring and freezing. Enough said.


6.) Been convinced I was getting free airline tickets and signed up to receive free trials of makeup and body care products. Now the bastards are trying to charge me $80 bucks a month. This is probably my most epic of dumb decisions. I really wanted some free airline tickets! Not an expensive scam...


7.) Turned into one of those crazy ex-girlfriends.
Listen, I'm not proud but I am here to teach. If by my insanely idiotic behavior a person can  learn not to put their shower curtain in the dryer or order the proper pizza when extremely ravenous I consider this blog a success.
Anyways, I started doing all those things I really don't give two shits about like being obsessed over other girls talking to him or being ultra clingy. LISTEN DO NOT DO THIS. First of all because its annoying ( I was literally annoying the shit out of myself) and two this is not going to magically win your ex back. I am not a clingy person. In fact I am the opposite of clingy. I don't care if you do not want to see a crappy chick flick with me, you do not need to spend every waking hour of your day with me either, and I do not need you to wait outside the bathroom for me. It's just unnecessary.  But someone breaks up with you and you just go a little nutzo. ( Granted I did the breaking up so I put myself in this situation, all my fault I know) I inflict my own pain. Another stupid decision I've made. But gosh it's not rocket science to be a normal human being and civil during a breakup. Also it is probably not a good idea to continue talking to this person post breakup. Yes it's hard, yes you love them, yes you do not know any different. But you just end up hurting each other. Both of you basically just want to beat the crap out of one another for not making the relationship work the way you both thought it magically would and you continue to punish one another for no reason other than you just can't get over the idea of failing at something that was once so amazing. Then one of you asks if you slept with an oompa loompa on Halloween and you counter by hacking their email. Listen again, NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF HERE. Well you know you're crazy but you just couldn't stop. This next piece of information is vital. Apologize. Leave them alone and do some yoga or kick boxing. Find a new hobby and go to town. The best thing is to continue living your life as normally as possible. Acting out or doing stupid things isn't going to make anything better. Soon enough it won't hurt so bad and after some time things will start to look up. If not well there's always wine and your girlfriends.

Yours Truly,
A giant dose of Teen

Roads and Rearview Mirrors

Sometimes you just have to realize that you may never get what you once had back. That feeling you had for months is gone. That road is closed and you have to turn around and find a new direction. It’s not fun. It’s not enjoyable. You may find yourself turning around a couple of times because that road, you’ve been there before, you’ve seen it. You know every curve, every pot hole, it smells just the way you expect it to. That’s okay. It’s okay to turn around a couple of times. But that road can’t take you where you thought anymore. You’re not sure when it happened or how you let it happen and it’s painful when you realize it actually did happen. Get in the car, turn it around, but don’t forget to look in the rear view mirror, it’s something you want to remember even if you have to go. <3

LOST

So I am constantly losing things..from my car keys to my cell phone and most recently my brand new 10 dollar sunglasses. This is why I am not allowed to have nice things. Because I lose, stain, rip, break, forget them on the airplane etc.
But when my sunglasses went missing sometime last week I simply just assumed I would find them eventually. Like the time I lost my glasses for 8 months my freshman year of college only to find at the end of the year that they were wedged between the wall and my bed ( I SWEAR I looked there).
Well anyway yesterday around 4 o'clock I was getting out of my car to go into the apartment when I the most magical thing happened! My sunglasses appeared in the leaves on the grass. No joke, they were just there, I hadn't stepped on them yet and they were just a little dirty from the ground! It was awesome. 
I really just wish I knew how they got there though...

The Roommates.

So mi boyfriendo has recently re-located from Brighton to Allston.. another suburb of Boston a little bit closer to the city. Before he had lived with an older mixed group he had found on some random website. His favorite roommate was a teacher, smart, collected, sarcastic, and looked like a teddy bear, lumberjack, hamlet. I am now going to introduce you to his seven YES I said seven male roommates. Thankfully there's 3 bathrooms, 2 showers. I presume they say "No Homo" a lot too. Anyways, it's like Animal House, Basketball, Old School, and hoarders in their puked stained carpet, moldy dishes "man cave". Or a less guido version of Jersey Shore.

Wyso: First look at Wyso I wanted him to have a Southern drawl. Then he spoke, it was a no go. How unfortunate I already had him living up to unreasonable expectations. Wyso is the second oldest of the bunch rocks button-ups, he's a good amount of tall, dirty blonde hair, and oddly resembles stalker guy "derek" from OTH (Note to all the Peyton's stalker would have been cute had he not tried to kill several of my favorite cast members), straight leg jeans...basically he looks like a mix of country and rock. At a party they had we actually witnessed a random girl just prance on in his room while he was sleeping. Apparently he jedi mind tricks them in his sleep ( actually I just made that up but I know you think it would be cool if he did) Anyways, he's a baseball player, single, and naturally ready to rock any semi attractive to smokin' hot girls world if they'd let him have the chance.

Observe "Derek" from OTH. I am totally right and you know it. Wyso stop giving us "sexy eyes"

Garber: Oh Garber, I still haven't forgiven you for stealing my orange juice (all you had to do was ask! I share well now and no longer bite people I SWEAR). Thinking you're so clever and I wouldn't notice your 40oz had magically turned light orange?! You were a little bit mistaken, I'm a wee bit smarter than those party chicks you bamsmushoozle every weekend but obviously not that smart cause you did manage to steal my orange juice.

Anyways, Where do you start with Garber? He smokes tobacco out of an old man' pipe like its his job, eats the "triple play" from McDonalds and still maintains a generally manly non-potbelly physique, rocks cut off t-shirts at parties (and still gets laid), has the face of a baby, loves smokin' that illegal substance, and still manages to be one of the best players on the baseball team. He's a human anomaly and it' not fair but he sure doesn't give a fuck ( and I don't blame him.) Both nights he had a lady over, I hear he's quite the Casanova, but he's not much of a talker in his sexual promiscuity.

Before he slept with your friend, so cute though!

Lopes: Within the first 15 minutes of meeting Geoff I had already seen his ass. There's not much that this kid hasn't done, won't do, or will eventually do. He's the nuttiest and the loudest of the bunch. He eagerly wolfed down my homemade potato salad and BBQ chicken (still cold) obviously real men do not need to heat up their food and proceeded to chat and yammer away which is always fine for me because I never shut up either. Lopes is the kind of guy who is going to help your Grandma put away the groceries but then hookup with your best friend all in the same day. He doesn't follow rules or boundaries in fact he probably just crosses them for the adrenaline. His goal at a party is to get in your pants, don't be fooled but he may be sweet about it and he's got a nice smile! He loves to dance and drink Skippy and his ears kind of stick out but not in a bad way, he def works it. If you wanna have fun I'd recommend you sleep with Geoff just don't talk too loudly in the morning or he may kick you out and not tell you he vampired the shit out of your neck the night before.

Rockman: Poor Rockman, he's the punchline of quite a few of the roomies jokes but he handles it well. My fondest memory of him is when he got a cluster of mosquito bites on his forearm and took out an icepack to prevent itching. It was adorable and wimpy at the same time, I mean you would think he got stung by an entire hornets nest or something. Don't worry I offered him some benedryl to help with the pain. He also does this weird thing with his hands where he brings them awkwardly up close to his chest like a raptor or the guy who offers his strong hand in the Scary Movie trilogy. He claims its comfortable. Maybe he's prepping to tear our heads off like raptors do for making fun of him so much. Anyways I find Rockman to be the best comic relief in a house of manwhores. He's a great palate cleanser ( if this were a formal dinner) for sure. ( I am not saying I want to eat Rockman by any means). Helllloooo Claricee...

Chris: Well, Chris was MIA this weekend and actually shares a room with my boyfriend ( he has a twin bed and an old school football pillowcase from the 90's) He also wears v-neck t-shirts, loves to play x box, and is on the smush hunt rebound. Other than that I don't know much about him and cannot appropriately create a mini blog on him. It doesn't help that he previously attended UNH and hated it. But he does share a room with my boyfriend so I gotta give him credit where credit is due.

Swenson: "The Don", no clue why they call him that but he tends to look slightly confused at all times though this may be accredited to the booze that he had been drinking but I think he just generally looks like he has no clue what's going on. He's a little more reserved than the rest of the roommates but that doesn't mean he can't hold his own. I gave him some shit about smoking cigarettes ( I can't help it, no one wants to make out with an ashtray). In essence I was just trying to help his game which obviously I didn't need to because someone ended up sleeping in his bed that night. The Don scores. Also in the morning he was sporting an extremely sexy outfit of stained gray sweat pants and a horrible case of bedhead, then he stole my shower. Thanks Mike.

Random roommate nobody likes: Nobody likes him and I don't even remember his name..clearly he doesn't leave a lasting impression.

I hope you enjoy the roommates as much as I did. Granted their bathrooms are dirty and their fridge contains nothing but takeout boxes, they aren't a bad group of dudes to hangout with. They can throw quite the ripper and would make for excellent television no doubt. Lets just hope they still like me after my overly cynical character bios. ( Hey they gave me permission to do it)

Peace & Hoes,
Take me in doses
Teen<3

Food for Thought